No good deed goes unpunished

One of my favourite stories is the one of the Good Samaritan. For those who don't know it, Jesus tells the story of a man who is beaten up on the road to Damascus and left for dead. Three people see the man but it was only the third person who helped - the person who you would least expect. The first two religious men just walked passed him. 

In this day and age, there are lots of opportunities for us to help others who may be in need or may be less fortunate than ourselves. I would like to think that I would help someone in need - that I would be the third stranger going out of my way to help someone. While I studied Psychology at uni, I heard of a story where a woman was attacked and killed on the street and no one did anything. It was just the other day that I read in the news that a woman was a hit by number of vehicles and no one stopped to do anything. We question - how can these things happen? We would like to think that we would step in. But today I had a very strange experience.

As I was walking back to my car after a meal, I could hear someone yelling at me. Being a dark, winter's night, my first thought was to rush back to my car. As I reached the other side of the road, I realised the person yelling was a man in need. Before I could do anything, I realised he was now yelling angrily at me. I asked him if he was okay and he yelled no and continued to call me names. I then chose to leave before the situation became hostile. 

You see, in this day and age, you hear of stories where good deeds don't go unpunished. You hear stories of people who house people in need in their homes and then end up being killed by these same people. Or people who lend a helping hand and that friendship ends up being abused. So now a few hours later I'm wondering what should I have done. Should I have helped, possibly putting myself in harm's way? Or was I right to initially make sure I was safe first?


To be honest, I don't think there is a right answer. Not every good deed goes unpunished and sometimes the problem is we are unwise in the decisions we make when helping people. Or sometimes we do have to risk it all to help people. I know for myself, my help has backfired because I don't always establish boundaries. In any which case, we should never be afraid to help others but we need to use wisdom in doing so - remembering that it's not a perfect science. 

Dreams

We've all got dreams. We've all got visions. But what do we do with them? Do we pursue those dreams? Do we pursue those visions? 

If I'm honest, I feel like I have hit a brick wall in terms of what I want to achieve. Not because I have obstacles in my way. Well not external ones anyway. The only thing that is stopping me is...me. It's not that I haven't got dreams and visions. Creating a vision board is my favourite part of the journey! But it is completing the task which is the challenge. Arguably, it is starting the task - but how hard is it to sign up to the gym when you plan to get fit? How hard is it to buy healthy food when you plan to change your diet? How hard is it to buy paint when you plan to redecorate?

 It isn't necessarily starting the task which is the challenge, but keeping momentum. Consistency is key. Many of us, including me, do not see our dreams and visions take form because of consistency. 

Before 2017 is over- what dreams did you start that you did not finish? Are there any that you have started that you can complete this year or at least create the momentum for next year?

Here are for a few things that can help you to build momentum:

1. Start - Many times I don't start something because I fear i won't finish it. But you don't know until you try.
2. Share - Tell somebody about your dreams and visions, but also ask them to hold you accountable. This has to be someone you trust who you know will tell you the truth - someone who will encourage you when you want to give up.
3. Push - (I kept trying to think of something beginning with 's', but I struggled! - Keep going. Invest in your dreams everyday. It takes 21 days to form a habit, so keep going until your dreams are complete!

If you believe

Some time ago, our school took the children to watch Brazil play England at Wembley Stadium. The children were filled with excitement and anticipation, as they clambered out of the coaches ready to watch some of the biggest names in football. As we waited in the car park, I could hear the children yelling excitedly. Thinking they were starting the chanting early, I didn't pay much attention to what they were saying. Then I saw them pointing to one of the apartment blocks surrounding the stadium. An apartment block?! When I asked them what they were doing, they said they could see a well-known YouTuber in the window of the top apartment. The top apartment?! Really, you could just see a silhouette, as I'm talking about the highest floor in the apartment block. When asked why they thought they could see the well-known YouTuber, they replied that it was because they knew he lived in an apartment block near Wembley. It could have been any of the apartment blocks...it could have been any of the apartments! But because they were convinced that the silhouette was the well-known YouTuber, they insisted it was him they could see. 

I read a statement the other day that basically said that what we believe affects what we perceive. The children believed that they saw the YouTuber and so that is what they perceived. As crazy as it seems, we do the same. We believe certain things about ourselves, other people or our situations, and that affects what we perceive. That in turn affects how we behave. We might not find ourselves screaming at a silhouette, but we're not far from it. If I believe that I  am unable to achieve anything, then that is how I will behave. We have to be mindful of what we believe. We have to mindful of what we give our minds to. That quote that says, if you believe it, you can achieve it, rings true. If we believe great things, what great things can we achieve? 

What do we learn from this? We can apply this story to our belief systems. We have to challenge what we believe. Or we might spend our lives yelling at silhouettes instead of rooting for our potential.

Forgive others

I watched a very interesting film recently. It was very random how I stumbled across it and then happened to stumble across it again on Facebook (must be a sign!). Anyway, the short international film begins with two strangers on a plane, talking about their jobs and the conversation leads to them finding out that they both know the same person. When they discover this, another stranger overhears the conversation and reveals that they also know this person. Strangely they realise that all of their interactions with this mutual person involved upsetting or offending him in some way, shape or form. This continues to happen until someone decides to investigate why they would all be on the same plane, as this has to be more than coincidence. After some discussion, they realise that although they had obtained their tickets in different ways i.e winning the raffle or part of work, they realise that it isn't by coincidence that these tickets were bought for them. Finally, the passengers are told by the stewardess that this man that they all know is the pilot of the plane and he has locked himself in the cockpit. I will leave you to find out what happens next.

But, back to the blog! I was thinking this week about forgiveness (or un-forgiveness), which then reminded me of this film. I would like to think of myself as a very friendly and gracious person, however truth be told, I am not always like that. I think about some of the behaviours I used to exhibit as a child like not speaking to people if I lost during a board game, and I see those days as behind, as I am now a mature, good teammate. But every so often, that side of me rears its ugly head, as un-forgiveness can get the best of all. 

When we feel hurt or offended by others and don't deal with it, we end up building it all up inside of us. If it's not dealt with, it will come out in some terrible way. One of the definitions of forgiveness is 'no longer wishing to punish someone'. That can be a huge thing to ask if the offence was very hurtful. However, forgiveness is not something that happens overnight, but a decision that has to be made regularly. 

This means that we need to regularly deal with any hurt we experience and not leave it to build up. Many studies have shown that un-forgiveness can lead to sickness. Un-forgiveness can place stress on our minds and bodies - think about the emotions you feel when you are hurt by somebody. What do you think happens when we replay that hurt over and over again in our minds? We put our minds and bodies under unnecessary stress. We deal with it, we're better for it. I'm downplaying how hard it is, but it's more important that we put things into place to deal with the hurt and frustration we may feel.

Don't let un-forgiveness take you on a plane journey you can't come back from. Deal with hurts and offences and live free.

How do you eat an elephant?

I feel like I give up way too easily! You have a magnificent idea or a goal you want to achieve and set out to climb that mountain with enthusiasm and zeal. You take the first few steps feeling so full of excitement about your new venture. Not long into the journey, you make the mistake of looking up. Although you knew the size of the mountain when you started, you would have hoped that the top of the mountain would seem closer to you. In fact, the destination seems further away!! 

At times, I feel like I try and I try but I am nowhere near to reaching my goal. And can I be honest? Sometimes I give up, not knowing that I was much more closer to my destination than I thought. It’s the big dreams that I have, as well as the daily routines. Its my dreams of a PhD as well as cooking and cleaning after a long day at work. But I know if I give up, I’ll be further away than where I would be if I kept on going. How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. And if we keep on going, that elephant will soon be devoured! You’re achieving your goals, one step at a time.

It's just emotions taking me over...

It's Monday morning and it's cold. I'm waking up early for work after a tiring and emotional weekend. The last thing I wanted to do, was to make the long, early morning journey to work, through the freezing cold English weather. Yes, you have it! I had the Monday morning blues. Or did I? 

Arguably, it's the Monday morning blues, but to be fair, it could be any morning. But what made the morning harder, was waking up early for work!! What we really have here, is a case of 'led by emotions'. It was easy for me to feel frustrated waking up Monday morning and allow that to impinge on the rest of my day. Walk into work and ignore the people that I see. Have a grumpy look on my face. Snap at anybody who dares to talk to me. But, just because I feel frustrated in response to a situation or a moment, does that really need to lead my day? This Monday morning in particular, I was able to identify my negative impulse and opted not to let it determine how the rest of my day turned out. I hate the cold! "Fact" - but I also enjoy having positive conversations with people. I hate waking up early!  "Fact" - but I enjoy providing engaging lessons for the children that I teach. 

I don't know about you, but for me I can fail to lead my emotions and I will often allow my emotions to lead me astray. Sadly, I then live out that frustration in situations where I could experience happiness. So here are a few things I have decided to do to help me get out of that thinking.

1. Be thankful - having a grateful mindset challenges and changes the perspective that you have. See life through thankful eyes. If it helps, make a list of what you are thankful for.

2. Encourage others - Again this could just be me, but I can get stuck in my emotions. Encouraging others around me, helps me to get unstuck, because then I am not just focussing on me.

3. Identify your emotion, why it exists and the situation you are in - I've added this because it's important not to overlook how you are feeling. Although I don't think we should live in an emotion, I think we should deal with the emotion. Also, once we know why the emotion exists, we can strategise or move on a lot quicker. Sometimes I'm annoyed because I'm just hungry! True stories!!

I hope these points help - let me know how you find leading your emotions in the comments section below :)

How does you garden grow?

Last week, I shared how I have learnt to value self-development. When you are a child, you learn

different things in stages to help you  develop into an adult. Similarly, if we want to develop new skills, we have to have plans in place. Sadly, skills can’t grow overnight, it takes hard work. My front garden is currently a mess, and I wish that I could sleep, wake up and see it filled with all sorts of beautiful, fragrant flowers... but that’s just not going to happen without me putting the work in. To invest in our self development, we need to take out time to do that. So here are 5 tips for self development.

1. Know your areas of development
It sounds obvious but it isn't always! If you are investing in your development, you need to know what you want to develop. If I am making a journey somewhere, I need to need to know where I am going. Not planning where you want to go, will mean you will end up where you don't want to be. Using my sat nav should mean I'll get to my destination, however there are times when I have mixed up my addresses and ended up where I didn't intend to be! Therefore, it is important that we should know what area of our life we want to invest in. Another reason why this is important, is because we can't spread ourselves too thin! When we focus on different things, we may not invest enough to see certain things grow...and it's not necessarily that we can't invest in different areas of our lives but we have to be intentional. Without intent, we can find ourselves aimlessly heading for nothing.

2. Read

There are many different quotes that show the importance of reading i.e. ‘readers are leaders’ or my favourite, ‘the more you read, the more you you know, the more things you learn, the more places you’ll grow. Reading is invaluable as you gain so much knowledge. Read into the area you want to develop and as your knowledge increases, so will you.

3. Watch videos

This is almost the same as reading, but it isn't! It is just another way for us to gain our knowledge. No longer do we need to travel long distances to find out information, but in a few clicks I can watch an informative video on how to play the guitar. We put things off and say we can't do 'a' or can't do 'b' because how can we learn? But we can't let that be an excuse anymore. There's lots of information out there for us to tap into, but we must be willing to do it.

4. Observe people

No, I didn't say stalk, I said observe. Let's go with the guitar idea. I want to learn how to play guitar, I am going to observe some great guitarists. How do they develop their skills? What do they do to perfect their skill? If I wanted to be more assertive, I would do something similar. I would observe how people communicate, observing body language and the verbal language people use. But remember observe not stalk! 

5. Apply

Now this is where I make false starts, I must admit. This point is easy for some but hard for me. You see I love learning, but application is hard. When teaching, I see children develop their skills well, but trip up when it comes to application. It's like doing well in practise tests but becoming anxious about the final exam! But this is the most important part of self-development - a very important part of growth. Whatever we learn, we have to put it into practise as then we can truly develop and grow. 

I hope these 5 tips help. They're helping me and I am sure they will help you too. 

Stuck behind an open door

I work in a school so a high importance is placed on the safety of the children. To get into certain areas of the school, a fob must be used. Recently, there have been many changes to the structure of the school and some of the onsite doors no longer lock. However, this doesn't effect the safety of the children, as these doors still keep the children on site. Anyway, today as I was carrying out errand #134, I walked towards one of the unlocked and noticed some children standing by the door. 'Ask Miss to open it,' one of the children whisper. "Miss, can you open the door for us please?'. I look at the children perplexed. The door is open, so they can get in and out to the playground but they don't know that it is open because they are used to it being locked. The children had been so used to a locked door, they expected this open door to be locked. The scary thing is, I think the children must have been there for quite a while, standing behind an open door.

How many of us stand behind open doors? How many of us have amazing potential, but we're too afraid to step into it? 

I know because of my reserved nature, I tend not to 'let it all out' and hold back in different ways. There are different reasons why we don't give our all to some things. Many times, it because we're afraid. Or it is because we don't think we will get anywhere. We stand behind an open door, expecting our potential to be inaccessible. I've stood behind many open doors, questioning my abilities and highlighting my insecurities. How do I know the door won't open, if I don't try to push it? 

There are open doors in our lives that we are not walking through because we think they are locked. Potential that can be reached but we think we can't get there. 

Susan Jeffers's book, 'Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway' highlights the importance of us facing our fears. We can’t let certain things hold us back, when we have so much to achieve.

Will you let your open doors keep you locked out from your future?

Why I decided to neglect self-development

I'm going to start this blog with two very important quotes.

The first is from James Baldwin, which states, 'The paradox of education is precisely this - that as one begins to become conscious one begins to examine the society in which he is being educated.'

The second is from Akala, 'What a weapon that your brain is, get educated'.

Recently, I read a life-impacting book called 'The Little Voice'. I highly recommend it. But...this is not a book review! If you want to know more about the book, you can find it here:  The Little Voice.

 For me, this book highlighted the fact that we have so many voices in our lives - so many people offering their opinion. I had/have many! It also highlights the impact these different voices can have on us.

It's great to be in a place where you have lots of advice around you when you are facing a crazy world, but too many cooks spoil the broth, right?

When I was young, the voices around me encouraged me to do well in education and get into a good career. So, what did the young me do? I did well in education and got into a career. What's the problem with that? Well, nothing. But where was my voice in all of this?

I decided to neglect self-development because I depended on all of the voices around me - in a sense I trusted that, that was what I needed to do - do well in education and get into a good career. As much I trusted the voices around me, I also trusted that my education was teaching me everything that I needed to know. Naive right? Right.

Discovering my voice, helped me to discover the things that I actually wanted to do and I soon realised that I didn't have to rely on the education that society provided (as I wasn't going to learn all I needed to learn this way). We must be willing to learn and teach ourselves new things. We must be willing to grow and invest in our self-development.

Self-development is about you growing as a person. If something isn't growing that means it is not alive! Therefore, while we are alive, our development must be at the top of our list. 

I encourage you to find your voice. Know what you want to do. Then ... get educated.

#Metoo

Today I have been thinking about the power of #Metoo. As the campaign gets more and more media attention, many opinions also hit the radio waves. The campaign has given a voice to those who have experienced sexual harassment, as it has allowed many to share these experiences on social media.


There are some who see how #Metoo has empowered men and women across the globe and as a result have been able to process and journey through the trials they have faced. There are also some who believe that this is not something that will fix the problem of sexual harassment - and those who have been mistreated shouldn't be taking on the stance of a victim. 

At the moment, this is how I perceive it (not that it matters) - All around the world, men and women share their experiences of sexual harassment. Where there was once silence voices, there are now voices with power. Power. Where there was once defencelessness, there is now strength. Strength. These are not words I would assign to a victim, but how I would describe someone who is overcoming or who has overcome. It takes power and strength to talk about the things you have gone through. 

Even though the #Metoo campaign has given a voice to the silent, there are many who still wish to not share their experiences with social media. And that is okay too. As long as we don't allow circumstances and experiences to victimise us. So here is where, I hope what I write matters. 

I have allowed my experiences to silence me and though I can't take back the years of disempowerment, I can change the script I have been reading from for the past few years. #Metoo has taught me the importance of sharing your experiences. I am not only talking about sexual harassment, but anything in life that tries to silence us. There are different ways for us to process the different things that we go through, but I think it is important for us to share. It may not be on social media, but in a safe circle of friends. 


#Metoo may not stop sexual harassment, but in sharing our experiences with each other (again not just on social media) we give power and strength to where there was silence. Sharing helps us to know that we're not alone and helps us to walk through painful experiences in strength. 

Three men walk into a bar..

I read this quote the other day from William Ward, and it made me stop and think, 'Well, who am I?' Am I the pessimist who sits and complains? Am I the optimist hoping for change? Or am I the realist making the change? 

Then I thought, I am all three. As I get older I realise that life isn't always black and white, there are grey areas as well as purple, turquoise and indigo! Everything in moderation is what is important. Whilst on leadership training, I learnt that being one type of leader isn't beneficial. Sometimes a leader is required to be authoritative but then at times they may need to be democratic. It depends on the context.

It's similar to the three different perspectives. In order for the realist to adjust the sails, he needs to see and know that adjusting them will make a difference. He will need to employ an optimistic point of view. Then, in order to see the need for change, the optimist must see that the wind is causing a problem, which is where the pessimistic line of thinking comes in.

The problem is when we live in one perspective. Always complaining, not seeing a hope for change and not changing anything will get us nowhere. We first must acknowledge that something needs to change, see that it can be changed and then change it. We can't dwell in the pessimistic or optimistic stage, as time waits for no one. 

The problem with social media

I have read a number of articles outlining the problems with social media. The impact it has on our generation can be very detrimental. From body shaming to self harming, social media sounds more like a weapon that a soldier can't control.

But is it? 

Scattered all over my social media feed, are images either persuading me I should try or buy something or just informing me of the latest happenings in my friends' lives. The images many seem to have a problem with are the ones that inadvertently sell people an idea or an concept. Whether it be the way their lives should be or the way they should look. Just like the adverts shown on TV - they are trying to sell us something. 

However, we don't criticise junk food or fast food adverts for the rate of obesity, so why do we blame social networking sites for low self-esteem? Well, I don't have an answer to that question, but what I have been thinking about, is that the problem is not with social media but with society. I love Maya Angelou's quote - we have to break free from being normal.

I say the problem lies with society, because society dictates and tells us what it is to be normal. Therefore, when many scroll through the images on their social media, they are often looking for what it means to be normal - the thought of inadequacy already exists, social media just confirms. I am not saying that this is everyone, but why do so many people body shame or go through feelings of inadequacy as they simply scroll through their social media news feed? 

Remember the donkey and the carrot? Well... this is exactly that. We finally discover just how unreachable the perfect physique really is and we begin to feel as though we're just not good enough. 

My argument is that these things, these thoughts, have existed way before social networking sites became popular. The difference is that, now the messages are more prevalent reaching us much quicker than ever before. So my conclusion is that we have to not be afraid to challenge what is deemed as normal and not let society dictate to us what we should look like or how the perfect wife should live. Unrealistic expectations will result in unexpected realities, as we find ourselves burnt out living out someone else's ideals. We have to know what we want within ourselves and work from there. 

So the problem isn't with social media, but the problem is with normal. Know how amazing you are and be your own normal. 

If you are struggling with anything mentioned in this blog, please go to any of the websites below.

www.sane.org.uk
www.mind.org.uk

Will you?

Gandhi once said, 'You must be the change you wish to see in the world'. 

I think we can all agree that a lot of things need to change in the world. Poverty devours many communities and crime consumes our world. The world needs to change. And many of us find ourselves complaining about the conditions of this world, but what do we do about it?

I remember hearing this story at school, which has stayed with me for many years!

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody.  There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it.  Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.  Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job.  Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.

You see many of us complain, but don't do anything about what is upsetting us. Don't get me wrong, Rome wasn't built in a day and we won't be ending poverty over night. But if we all pursue whatever passion we have, we can make the change we want to see. 

I like that the quote says that you have to BE the change. We are part of the change we want to see. I can't complain that people aren't friendly if I am unkind. I can't complain about the rubbish and drop litter. 

Will you be the change?

Are you ready?

I've had writer's block for two months. Two months?! Yes two months! (the shame) But I've had two realisations over the past couple of weeks that compelled me to put pen to paper.

1) I can write. 'Well, duh! You've written a blog!' Well if I'm honest, I never actually thought I had a skill for writing. At secondary school English was never my forte. There were too many right answers to the same question, but Maths I could work with. Even now, I write because I like the idea of stories being told and new worlds being explored as a result. But I've come to realise there are a lot of skills that we possess that we don't realise that we have. And for me, that's writing. When we realise we actually have a skill for something, it can open up new doors of opportunities for us and take us to places we have never dreamed of venturing. 

2) I have something to share. I love to read and a wide range of things interest me. From Psychology to Politics to the psychology of politics - as long as the subject gives insight to the world that we live in and the world we can live in, I'll read it. But I won't always verbalise my thoughts and opinions - that's not me. But write about it, I will! 

You see we all have skills we have not yet recognised or skills someone put us off investing in. 

What skills do you have that you have neglected or are yet to invest in? The second questions is, what are you going to do with that skill? The world is waiting....

Day 21

I live courageous and embrace new opportunities

I know I've told you what one of my biggest fears are. But if you don't know, it's waking up one day to find I didn't take any new opportunities and lived in my comfort zone. Most of the times, when I'm faced with new opportunities - things that I would like to do - I tell myself why I can't do it. 'I'm too young...I have limited experience...I don't know anybody."

Fair enough, these may be reasons why I can't do something, but there will plenty more reasons for why I can, if I tell myself them. I have heard about or met lots of people who had huge limits on them which should have held them back, but they didn't let these things stop them. One of this week's blogs had the quote, 'feel the fear and do it anyway'. We can push through the fear - but we have to also tell ourselves statements of confidence instead of statements of fear.

Day 20

I will intentionally invest in my personal growth

What do you want to be when you? I must have heard it a thousand times! From a young age we are told (indirectly) we must know what we want to do when we're older but are we told the importance of investing in our development. Many of us goals but we won't achieve them if we are not investing in our skills. My husband is a guitarist and one thing (of many things) that inspires me, is that he will consistently in his skills. Even now, I can hear him pulling on some strings! But he is purposeful in his investment. We can't invest into things that don't give a good return (well you can, but you wouldn't) and we know a lot of things we invest our time or efforts into that do not produce anything. Yet I will happily have my phone in my hand and waste time. It's intentional because we have to CHOOSE to make the right investments. What do you invest in? 

Day 19

I will take responsibility for what I can control

I looked up the definition of stress and found it quite interesting. It said that it is to feel anxious about actual or potential problems. It was the word potential that interested me. We can feel troubled about things that may not even happen and this can affect our physical health as well as our mental health. But not only do we worry about potentials but  about things beyond my control.

I have a fear of flying. I had to admit it but part of the title says take responsibility! So I have a fear of flying but I've learnt to curve my fear by telling myself that this is beyond my control. I can't take responsibility for the flight as it's not in my control, but I can take responsibility for my emotions.

If I can control it, I'm responsible for it. If I cause a car accident, I'm responsible because I'm the one in control of the car. As well as letting go what we can't control, we need to take responsibility for what we can. Once we are responsible for things, we can make the positive changes we want to make.

Day 18

I can overcome my fears and achieve new things

Day 17

I persevere through difficulties and don't give up

I read an instagram comment the other day that really encouraged me. It said that the person had made a mistake but instead of beating themself up about it, they kept moving forward. If it had been me, I probably would have done a 180 degree turn and moved in that direction. It's so easy for us to face challenging situations and let that stop us from moving forward. Some of us are so close to overcoming things but give up so soon. We need to push forward to move forward!

Day 16

I am able to build great relationships with the people around me

Have you heard the saying that no man is an island? Or that life is better together? Relationships, whether we know it or not, are important. Scholars argue that relationships are even good for our health! But our view of relationships can cause us to be in hesitant to build relationships with the people around us. We fail to see sometimes that we can have a possible impact on others and see the contributions we make to our relationships as insignificant. In order for us to get the most out of life, it's important that we invest in the positive relationships we have around us. It's also important that we don't see our contributions to our relationships as insignificant. We have a lot to offer and we are more than able to build great relationships.

Day 15

         I am able to see the good in every situation

We don't know why many things happen. There are many good things in the world as well as many bad things  but I believe everything happens for a reason. 

A couple of years ago, my husband and I went to buy a house. The initial process seemed easy enough but soon after strange obstacles kept cropping up until we were no longer able to purchase the house. 6 months we pursued the purchase of the house and it had flopped! I was devastated. This house was everything we wanted and needed and it had gone. I would love to say I was positive throughout the process but I was upset. This house was for us to live in when we got married. Everything seemed to have failed in June, we were getting married in July. At that moment for me, there was no good in situation. Then, a week after finding out that we could no longer buy the house, we discovered another house. A month later (a few days after the wedding) we moved into our new home. I don't know why we had so many obstacles when trying to buy the first house, but I know that there was good. Firstly, the second house was a lot better. Secondly, it saved us paying a mortgage for a house we weren't going to live in until after we got married. 

There was good in that situation but I didnt see it. Seeing the good isn't just about positive thinking but it motivates to get through to the other side of our struggles.

What do you see?

Day 14

I am unique and have much to offer the world

We hold back when we don't realise the beauty or the hidden treasure within us. Imagine what would happen if we realised our potential? I leave you with this awesome poem:

Day 13

I am able to make the right decisions

We can doubt ourselves so much and not trust that we have the ability to choose right. Our doubt can cause us to not make decisions and just carried along my the current of life. For many of us, life is at a stand still because we won't make a decision. So what if we make the wrong decision? First of all, at least we made a decision. That then allows us to move forward in life. Secondly, we own our decision and then decide where we want to go from there. But know that you DO have the ability to make the right decision.

Day 12

I love life and appreciate everything it brings

Do you know when I find life the hardest? When I'm ungrateful. Moaning about what I don't have around me. But when you celebrate what you have around you, your perspective changes. Having a grateful attitude is like having a pair of glasses that help you to see beyond situations. You've heard the saying, 'Life is a gift' but honestly I don't always like what is wrapped inside. But I'm also a firm believer of everything happens for a reason and so whatever is wrapped up in the gift of life has to appreciated. We may not be able to choose what life brings but we can choose how we experience it.

Day 11

I bring joy to the world around me

This may seem like an odd positive affirmation - but if we don't think this way, we can hold back from life. I know this is true for me. We can often have thoughts that tell us that we're not enough so then we genuinely think that we are not enough. Because of that, we limit how much we bring to the

world - thinking that we have nothing to offer to the world. But what if we had much to offer the world? We would live differently If we knew we were enough, we would live with such a boldness and confidence that we would have a bigger impact on the world around us. All we have to do is believe.

Day 10

I can forgive myself as well as forgiving others

You know one of the hardest things to do is to forgive. There's a saying that goes an elephant never forgets. And here some of us are walking with the elephants not forgetting things other people have done or what we have done. We hold things against others or ourselves and struggle to let things go. The definition of forgive is to 'stop feeling angry or resentful for a mistake' or 'cancel a debt'. 

'Stop feeling angry'... forgiveness helps us to stop being consumed with the anger and resentment that comes with being hurt. We have to be willing to let go in order to move forward.

Day 9

I will experience great things in life

Life is full of so many twists and turns...we feel better when we can pre-empt things. But that is not always possible. Because of this, we can often be filled with dread about our future because we don't know what is going to happen. If I think or expect the worst to happen, I will waste lots of energy worrying about things. There's no joy in that. And more than likely the worst does not happen! 

But if I expect the best, it will give us a better outlook on life. We will start to see the great things that are happening because when we expect the worse, when we lose hope, we worry and miss the great things. Enjoy life.... life is for living!

Day 8

I am intentional about living purposefully

One of the most beautiful things about life is free will. I know this because people naturally struggle when the freedom to choose is taken away from them. Although I have found this to be true, sometimes we find ourselves in the position where we have willingly given away our option to decide for ourselves. In life we can drift along letting situations or people make the decisions for us. We are then not people of purpose but people being carried along by life's currents.

Imagine a ship in the ocean. It needs to be steered and navigated through calm or turbulent waters. Someone needs to direct it, as it has to know where it is going. It has a purpose. It could be carrying people or cargo from A to B, but whatever it is doing - it has a purpose. But then imagine a ship that has no direction. No one is navigating it. Oh there are people on there. The people on there are chilling, just letting the ship run its course. They hope one day to feel the heat in the Caribbean, see the penguins in the Falkland Islands and watch the kangaroos in their habitat in Australia. But if they're not directing the ship, it's not certain how much they will see. 

We need to not only live with purpose and direction but also be intention with it. It takes effort and energy directing a ship, but it will be worth it when you get to feel the heat in the Caribbean, see the penguins in the Falkland Islands and watch the kangaroos in their habitat in Australia.

Day 7

I am secure within myself and I am full of confidence

I have a confession to make. I had a relapse. It's day 7 and I had an obstacle. Ironic after yesterday's blog eh! But it happens. This morning I had made the biggest blunder and criticised myself heavily for it. So imagine I've spent 6 days speaking positively, day 7 there's a hiccup and I begin to think negatively again. I'm telling myself that I've failed - in fact it was 'I always fail' :(  Well of course I will if I tell myself that. I had to check myself before I wrecked myself. 

Despite the mistakes that we make, who we are doesn't change. We have to know who we are. I should still be able to speak positively about myself because who I am hasn't changed. If we don't know who we are, we will let other people dictate this to us or let situations dictate this to us. Know yourself - and from that will stem your confidence.

Day 6

I live in the moment and enjoy the moment

I wake up. I get ready for work. I get to work. I start the 1 out of 100 tasks I have for the day. I respond to emails. I run to meetings. I get home. I cook dinner. Life fast paced...fast paced is life... but if you blink, you will miss it! Hence why I must tell myself to stop and enjoy it. Even in this era of technology where everything must be captured, we can forget to not only live in the moment and enjoy the moment. Life is to be enjoyed- be present in it.

Day 5

I can find the solutions to my problems and move forward with my future

Imagine you're at the Olympics. You managed to get a hold of front row tickets... let's say for free as it makes the analogy sound sweeter! You see the athletes mentally preparing thenselves for the race ahead, placing their feet on the blocks. You hear a gunshot echo throughout the stadium and BANG they're off. You see muscles in limbs exploding as they sprint forward but then as quick as it started it ends. As the first athlete reaches the first hurdle, he turns around and sprints in the opposite direction. It wouldn't have been so strange but the other athletes begin to do the same thing. Why's it so strange? What do we expect them to do when they see a hurdle? Jump over it! But often we can reach an obstacle and run in the opposite directions. If we don't look to find solutions to our problems and leave them undealt with, we will struggle to move forward. Take the leap!!