Today I have been thinking about the power of #Metoo. As the campaign gets more and more media attention, many opinions also hit the radio waves. The campaign has given a voice to those who have experienced sexual harassment, as it has allowed many to share these experiences on social media.
There are some who see how #Metoo has empowered men and women across the globe and as a result have been able to process and journey through the trials they have faced. There are also some who believe that this is not something that will fix the problem of sexual harassment - and those who have been mistreated shouldn't be taking on the stance of a victim.
At the moment, this is how I perceive it (not that it matters) - All around the world, men and women share their experiences of sexual harassment. Where there was once silence voices, there are now voices with power. Power. Where there was once defencelessness, there is now strength. Strength. These are not words I would assign to a victim, but how I would describe someone who is overcoming or who has overcome. It takes power and strength to talk about the things you have gone through.
Even though the #Metoo campaign has given a voice to the silent, there are many who still wish to not share their experiences with social media. And that is okay too. As long as we don't allow circumstances and experiences to victimise us. So here is where, I hope what I write matters.
I have allowed my experiences to silence me and though I can't take back the years of disempowerment, I can change the script I have been reading from for the past few years. #Metoo has taught me the importance of sharing your experiences. I am not only talking about sexual harassment, but anything in life that tries to silence us. There are different ways for us to process the different things that we go through, but I think it is important for us to share. It may not be on social media, but in a safe circle of friends.
#Metoo may not stop sexual harassment, but in sharing our experiences with each other (again not just on social media) we give power and strength to where there was silence. Sharing helps us to know that we're not alone and helps us to walk through painful experiences in strength.
I read this quote the other day from William Ward, and it made me stop and think, 'Well, who am I?' Am I the pessimist who sits and complains? Am I the optimist hoping for change? Or am I the realist making the change?
Then I thought, I am all three. As I get older I realise that life isn't always black and white, there are grey areas as well as purple, turquoise and indigo! Everything in moderation is what is important. Whilst on leadership training, I learnt that being one type of leader isn't beneficial. Sometimes a leader is required to be authoritative but then at times they may need to be democratic. It depends on the context.
It's similar to the three different perspectives. In order for the realist to adjust the sails, he needs to see and know that adjusting them will make a difference. He will need to employ an optimistic point of view. Then, in order to see the need for change, the optimist must see that the wind is causing a problem, which is where the pessimistic line of thinking comes in.
The problem is when we live in one perspective. Always complaining, not seeing a hope for change and not changing anything will get us nowhere. We first must acknowledge that something needs to change, see that it can be changed and then change it. We can't dwell in the pessimistic or optimistic stage, as time waits for no one.
I have read a number of articles outlining the problems with social media. The impact it has on our generation can be very detrimental. From body shaming to self harming, social media sounds more like a weapon that a soldier can't control.
But is it?
Scattered all over my social media feed, are images either persuading me I should try or buy something or just informing me of the latest happenings in my friends' lives. The images many seem to have a problem with are the ones that inadvertently sell people an idea or an concept. Whether it be the way their lives should be or the way they should look. Just like the adverts shown on TV - they are trying to sell us something.
However, we don't criticise junk food or fast food adverts for the rate of obesity, so why do we blame social networking sites for low self-esteem? Well, I don't have an answer to that question, but what I have been thinking about, is that the problem is not with social media but with society. I love Maya Angelou's quote - we have to break free from being normal.
I say the problem lies with society, because society dictates and tells us what it is to be normal. Therefore, when many scroll through the images on their social media, they are often looking for what it means to be normal - the thought of inadequacy already exists, social media just confirms. I am not saying that this is everyone, but why do so many people body shame or go through feelings of inadequacy as they simply scroll through their social media news feed?
Remember the donkey and the carrot? Well... this is exactly that. We finally discover just how unreachable the perfect physique really is and we begin to feel as though we're just not good enough.
My argument is that these things, these thoughts, have existed way before social networking sites became popular. The difference is that, now the messages are more prevalent reaching us much quicker than ever before. So my conclusion is that we have to not be afraid to challenge what is deemed as normal and not let society dictate to us what we should look like or how the perfect wife should live. Unrealistic expectations will result in unexpected realities, as we find ourselves burnt out living out someone else's ideals. We have to know what we want within ourselves and work from there.
So the problem isn't with social media, but the problem is with normal. Know how amazing you are and be your own normal.
If you are struggling with anything mentioned in this blog, please go to any of the websites below.
www.sane.org.uk
www.mind.org.uk
Gandhi once said, 'You must be the change you wish to see in the world'.
I think we can all agree that a lot of things need to change in the world. Poverty devours many communities and crime consumes our world. The world needs to change. And many of us find ourselves complaining about the conditions of this world, but what do we do about it?
I remember hearing this story at school, which has stayed with me for many years!
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realised that Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have.
You see many of us complain, but don't do anything about what is upsetting us. Don't get me wrong, Rome wasn't built in a day and we won't be ending poverty over night. But if we all pursue whatever passion we have, we can make the change we want to see.
I like that the quote says that you have to BE the change. We are part of the change we want to see. I can't complain that people aren't friendly if I am unkind. I can't complain about the rubbish and drop litter.
Will you be the change?
I've had writer's block for two months. Two months?! Yes two months! (the shame) But I've had two realisations over the past couple of weeks that compelled me to put pen to paper.
1) I can write. 'Well, duh! You've written a blog!' Well if I'm honest, I never actually thought I had a skill for writing. At secondary school English was never my forte. There were too many right answers to the same question, but Maths I could work with. Even now, I write because I like the idea of stories being told and new worlds being explored as a result. But I've come to realise there are a lot of skills that we possess that we don't realise that we have. And for me, that's writing. When we realise we actually have a skill for something, it can open up new doors of opportunities for us and take us to places we have never dreamed of venturing.
2) I have something to share. I love to read and a wide range of things interest me. From Psychology to Politics to the psychology of politics - as long as the subject gives insight to the world that we live in and the world we can live in, I'll read it. But I won't always verbalise my thoughts and opinions - that's not me. But write about it, I will!
You see we all have skills we have not yet recognised or skills someone put us off investing in.
What skills do you have that you have neglected or are yet to invest in? The second questions is, what are you going to do with that skill? The world is waiting....
