I am a worrier...I worry. I lock the door. "Have I locked the door?" I go back and check. It's locked. I get in the car. "Did I really lock the door? May be I didn't check the handle properly!" As I write this, I'm thinking to myself whoa! Are those really my thoughts?! They sound like a cause for concern. But I remind myself that I am only outlining one of the symptoms of a simple disease....worry!
I've been out of the blogging game for a few months now (shame on me!) but I'm back with many lessons learnt. During the past few months I have been preparing for my wedding :O and the time has gone past so quickly. My life stopped for a date in July which held so much importance! And of course my life has not been the same since :) But back to the lessons...preparation for a wedding is not a walk in the park. Especially as we planned the wedding for the day after school breaks up - the start of the holidays. And I'm a teacher so I'm sure everyone expected me to turn up on the day haggard and exhausted! We invested so much time in the day, that although I tried my upmost not to stress, I really wanted the day to go well.
So comes the day! The run up had gone well, bar some minor hiccup that occurred during the week of the wedding. Now one piece of advice that I kept receiving was 'Make sure you enjoy the day!' Simples I thought. Scheduled to get to the church for 1pm - a timetable was in place - I was going to get to the church on time!
Then disaster struck and one of the bridesmaid dresses malfunctioned! An emergency team was called together - my aunty and a few of the bridesmaids- to solve the issue. But nobody would tell me the details of what was happening and would not tell me what time it was. What bride would not be worrying by now? I was past worry - I was livid! I was late - but I remained calm - it was possible that I wasn't terribly late as I still didn't know the time!
By time I got to the church - as I was late, the procession had already started! I had minimal time to take everything in when I was carted down the aisle. During the service my eyes caught sight of someones watch. We were running an hour over time! An hour! My thoughts began to run overtime - what does that mean for the photographs? The meal's going to be late! The cars will need to be paid.....'Make sure you enjoy the day!' Thankfully that thought crushed the others! I made decision at that point to enjoy the rest of the day - and you know what? I did! It was a great day!
So now I must ask myself .... why worry? "Which of you by being over anxious can add a single foot to his height?" Deep words! Although I consciously made a decision not to worry on my wedding day - this question still causes me to reflect on the day and what it teaches me about worry. Imagine if I had spent the day worrying. That's a worrying thought (no pun intended)! But seriously, the day would have been wasted! As the question asks- what can worry or anxiety change? If I spent the whole day worrying, the only thing that would have changed would have been my perception of the day. What a waste! Worry is a waste!
So as I reflect on the day, I realise how I combated worry on that day. I consciously made a decision not to worry. Not only did I empty my mind of worry, but I filled my mind with joy. I made sure mind meditated upon everything I enjoyed about the day. Of course things went wrong! But a lot of things went right! And most importantly I married the love of my life - and so I can only reflect on joy. So now my mission is to not meditate on my worries but on my joys. Not to say I can't deal with concerns - but worry is not a place where we can live. We deal with what we can control and leave the rest.
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