Chains

"I know you feel hurt, but you should give them another chance," he said to me.

After hearing those words, I realised that my Christianity was not just a label. Living out this faith, involves growing. Growth involves challenges. Challenges mean I may have to do things that make me feel uncomfortable.

I have been hearing and studying a lot on forgiveness recently and then I came across the name of a young man in the book of Philemon called Onesimus.

Paul writes a letter to Philemon asking him to welcome Onesimus. What's so special about Onesimus?!

Well, scholars believe that Onesimus was once a slave to Philemon. It is believed that he either stole from Philemon or wronged him another way. Whatever he did caused him to run away from Philemon and somehow ended up in Rome finding Paul. Upon finding Paul, he finds faith in Christ as Paul calls Onesimus his spiritual child. Paul is now asking for Philemon to welcome Onesimus as a brother.

A letter that portays forgiveness and restoration of relationship stood out to me as I read these words: 

This is the header that precedes the verses in the Amplified version. It just made me think, 'Who do I have in chains?'

When we choose not to forgive someone it's like we're holding them hostage to whatever they have done. I know how I approach situations where I feel someone has wronged me. I offer them no freedom and in return keep myself in chains. When we keep people imprisoned we limit relationship.

It's interesting that Paul says that there was a time when he was useless to you (sidenote - Onesimus means useful) but now he is useful to you. There are times when forgive and move on but there are also times where there is forgiveness and relationships must be restored. Like I said, the more hurt I experience, the more guarded I want to become. In my mind I've imprisoned a person, but I'm the one behind the prison bars, and this cuts me off from relationships. Friendships, relationships have the power to encourage us and build up. You've heard we're not supposed to live our lives in isolation-when we cut ourselves off from people, we potentially lose a source of encouragement and support. 

Scholars believe that Onesimus went onto be the Bishop of Ephesus. Imagine what would have happened if Philemon kept him in chains.

Who do you have in chains?