‘For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of love, power and a sound mind’. Some translations read self-control instead of a sound mind. Reading this today, I saw something I had never seen before. Where fear is in charge, there is no self control.
I have a HUGE fear of dogs. Anybody who knows me knows that me + dogs = fear. When I would walk home from secondary school, I would walk the long way home to avoid dog walkers. I remember once, when walking to the bus stop with friends, I ran into the middle of a road when I saw a dog. No self-control!
In the midst of fear all logical thinking goes out of the window. Your decision making is not at its best and conclusions are made in haste. Fear is inevitable. Whether we like it or not, we will experience the emotion of fear. But what do we do with that emotion? Does it lead us, or do we lead it? Knowing that fear has an impact on my thinking and my control has made me think twice about the decisions I have made and will make. Am I in control or is fear in control? Many times when we make decisions, we feel to a certain degree we are not in control. This has helped me to see that the absence of control means there is a presence of fear. For example, if I make a decision because I am afraid of people’s opinions - who is in control? Although I made the decision, I am not in control. Or if go to an event because I’m afraid that if I don’t I will offend someone- I made the decision to give fear control.
I’m currently reading a life-transforming book called the ‘7 habits of highly effective people’ (7 Habits of Highly Effective People, The: 25th Anniversary Edition by Stephen R. Covey (2015-08-25)
) and in there Stephen Covey points out the importance of the choices we make. Do we have to do something or do we choose to? Many of us make decisions because we feel we have to and not out of choice. I may still choose to go to an event but I have to examine my reasons for going. In choosing, I am gaining back self-control. It’s a case of- if you had the choice, what would you choose?
This means we have to be more intentional with our decision making. I am not often examining my motives and then I soon find that it was actually fear I had joined for the ride. When we recognise how we are making decisions we can exercise better self-control.
I loved that song when I was younger. 'I wish I was a little a bit taller, I wish I was a baller...' The song basically outlined all the different things the artist wish we had. Are we not like this? I wish my house was a bigger. I wish I had a different car. I wish I had a different job. If we're not careful, we can spend our whole life wishing - wishing our life away.
Don't get me wrong - wishes are not a problem - A quote from Walt Disney says, 'A dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're asleep.' But if we spend our life just wishing, then there is a problem. What do we do with our dreams and wishes?
It's important that we put plans into place to see our 'wishes come true'. No matter the size of our dream, it is important that we plan. It might be helpful to start with small steps and use reminders on your phone to alert you about certain tasks. Many people find it beneficial to put post it notes around their home or place of work to remind them of their tasks. Essentially whatever plans we have should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-based (SMART goals).
Your dream should lead to your vision and plans. In his book, The Dream-Centered Life
, Luke Barnett highlights the importance of dreaming big. Referencing Walt Disney, he highlights that everything starts with a dream. This shows us how important and how great dreams are, but we can't let it stop there. Our dreams should take us somewhere - they should take us beyond where we are. Luke Barnett is an example of someone who not only dreams big, but also acts on his dreams. Many people reference Walt Disney's dreams, and are amazed about how everything started with a dream that he had.
For ages I wished about different things. I wished I was a better dancer. I wished I was a better writer. I wished I had a positive impact on the world around me. I wish... I wish... I wish.Then I came to the realisation that the gap between my dreams and my reality was my actions. So I put plans in place to give room for my wishes to become reality.
Stop wishing and start planning...
I am a firm believer of there is a reason for everything and a time for everything. For everything there is a process. If you want apples in your garden, you have to plant an apple tree. This takes time. If you want to get a degree, you go to university. Obtaining the certificate takes time. For everything, there is a time and for everything there is a season.
Knowing this, knowing everything takes time, it can be quite frustrating. We live in a generation where most things that we want we get straight away - we want instant gratification! And I know, for me, this is a conflict I constantly face. The goals and visions that I have I know will take time before they come into fruition. There are things I have said that I would do and because they are not completed yet, I feel to leave them abandoned on the wayside. But things take time and we have to be willing to invest and put the work in.
Not only do things take time, but everything happens in the right time. Have you ever started a task and everything seems to go wrong? You're trying to get it done for a certain time but it doesn't seem to be working. The amount of times I have tried to do something and it hasn't worked out when I have wanted it to. However, I have persisted and when it did happen, it was like it was the perfect time for it to happen!
Ecclesiates 3:11 says, 'Everything is beautiful in its time.' For everything there is a reason and there is a time.
We give up on things, thinking they are not going to happen, but if we persist, things will happen at the right time.
) and in there Stephen Covey points out the importance of the choices we make. Do we have to do something or do we choose to? Many of us make decisions because we feel we have to and not out of choice. I may still choose to go to an event but I have to examine my reasons for going. In choosing, I am gaining back self-control. It’s a case of- if you had the choice, what would you choose?
, Luke Barnett highlights the importance of dreaming big. Referencing Walt Disney, he highlights that everything starts with a dream. This shows us how important and how great dreams are, but we can't let it stop there. Our dreams should take us somewhere - they should take us beyond where we are. Luke Barnett is an example of someone who not only dreams big, but also acts on his dreams. Many people reference Walt Disney's dreams, and are amazed about how everything started with a dream that he had. 