Married for 1 year and 1 month and looking forward to the many years ahead!! But to know where you're going, you've got to know where you're coming from, right? Sometimes it's good to look back to see what you've learnt and even what you need to learn! These are three things I wish I knew before I got married...
Pre-warning, this might get deep so this is not for the faint hearted!!
1. I wish I loved myself more (let's start at the deep end shall we?) I wish I knew more about myself and had spent my single life exploring who I am. In marriage, so many flaws in you are exposed and there's no where to hide them 😳. If I knew I was so selfish, I could have dealt with that. If I knew I was so guarded, I could have dealt with that. To be fair these are shoulda, woulda, couldas, however a lot of these I think stem from being insecure. If I loved myself more, that could have been eradicated. One of the wisest quotes I know 'Love your neighbour as you love yourself'. The more (and better) I love myself, the more (and better) I can love my husband. 
2. I wish I knew that men were from mars and women were from venus. Okay I don't believe this to be actually true, you can put down the pitch forks. But we do definitely communicate differently. I don't know why I didn't notice this during the dating stage, but I know now. Misunderstandings have easily happened because we misinterpreted what we've communicated to each other. The earlier I had known, the better we could have communicated in those early stages.
3. I wish I was a little bit taller🎧 I'm kidding but I love the song! But I do wish that I knew that I would never understand everything. This kind of links with number 2. Because so much can be lost in translation, a lot can be either be misunderstood or not understood at all!! And that's okay! In not understanding things we can often get frustrated, but look how long it took humanity to understand that the world is round. We're so used to getting information so quickly now, that there's an expectation to understand things straight away. But the complexities of people mean that we must be patient when it comes to understanding, but still continue to pursue it.
And a bonus!
4. I wish I knew that expectations aren't always going to be fulfilled and that's okay. Often we go through relationships with several expectations that we expect to be fulfilled. And when they're not... It's like someone has taken our hope and dreams and crushed them in their fist. But what about when I don't fulfill my S.O.'s expectations? It is going to happen! We do need to communicate the expectations we have, but also be understanding when they are not fulfilled.
Love you lots, catch you later!
I love the bit about expectations! I so easily get disappointed because my expectations aren't met EXACTLY the way I thought them up in my head. Marriage is not meant to be something to "live up to" anyway, so why in the world am I always trying to make it out that way? lol. Looking back, I just wish I would have given myself time to grow up a little to catch up to those expectations. I will say this though, relationships can thrive on the upset if we learn to accept, listen, and truly love during those times. We need the mistakes, misunderstandings, and barriers to overcome in order to grow closer to each other. This is s a terrific post!
ReplyDeleteLol yes not something we "live up to" well put!! And that's very true - the rocky roads on the journey marriage, can make the marriage stronger if we allow it to. We learn, grow and love each other more. Thank you!!
DeleteThis is such a great and honest post!
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Thank you!
DeleteI love what you've shared here. I would have benefitted reading it before I got married. Certainly it will benefit many. With marriage taking a big hit these days these are important thoughts you share. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I hope so too
DeleteCongrats on being married! There are soo many things you learn about yourself and your marriage over the years! I just celebrated 22 years, and I'm still learning! I love your #4 point. It's my favorite. By the way....I work for a nonprofit who is all about encouraging marriages! We just started a group on facebook for recently engaged and just marrieds! You should join us! It's a great way to have conversations with others who are in the same season of life as you...and to get those roots strong for your marriage in the long haul. Look us up under groups - startingmarriageright. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you. Congratulations for being married for 22 years! Very inspiring! I'll definitely check out the facebook group!
DeleteNumber four I feel like is a struggle we all go through. we can expect too much or even not enough but then as wives we need to slow down and encourage our men!
ReplyDeleteLol love it! We definitely do! The struggle is real - learning to communicate our expectations in healthy ways and having understanding when they are not always met. The beautiful struggle of the journey! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
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