Decide to Decide

I love going to dinner with my family, but the ordering process can be tedious! Especially when it comes to my sister's turn. After being in the restaurant for what sometimes feels likes forever, when the waiter comes to take the order, she still doesn't know what she wants! When in my head, I'm thinking - make a decision. The funny thing is, I go through the same thing. I struggle to make a decision, because what if I make the wrong one? What if I order something I don't like? What if I order something that's not enough?

 

There's a story that I love about four lepers. They were living in a war torn country with fighting surrounding them on all sides. They found themselves in a place where they were unsure of what to do and where to go. Finally, one of them spoke up and said, "Why sit we here until we die? If we say, we will enter into the city, then the famine is in the city, and we shall die there: and if we sit still here, we die also. Now therefore come, and let us fall unto the host of the Syrians: if they save us alive, we shall live; and if they kill us, we shall but die." What they needed to do was make a decision. The decision was made to walk into the city, and when they entered the city, they discovered that all of the soldiers had fled their camp and left their horses, tents and other treasures. They made a decision.

Some of us have decisions to make in life, but are never proactive in making them. We wait for a sign, or wait for someone to make the decision for us. Don't get me wrong, good counsel is, well, good! But when we procrastinate in making important decisions, we find ourselves sitting uncomfortably on the fence!

They say when we drive; many accidents are caused by hesitations...because decisions weren't made. Sometimes it's better to make a decision and be wrong, rather than not make a decision and not move. I often don't make decisions in fear of making the wrong one. The wrong decision would mean and could lead to mistakes. But if mistakes aren't made, how do we learn? So don't be afraid of making decisions, because even in the midst of mistakes, success can be found. Thomas Edison decided to invent the light

bulb. The first thousand tries could have indicated that he made the wrong decision. But through his mistakes, the light bulb was invented. Don't let fear cause you to hesitate. What decision do you need to make?

#blessed?

Life can sometimes be synonymous with stress - especially this time of year! From home to work, we experience different stressors. But in the midst of the kerfuffle (I had to look up how to spell it!) we don't realise that we're blessed! We don't realise that we're blessed, if in and around us we see lack. We miss what we do have and become ungrateful, however when we see the good things around us, the irony is that it opens our eyes to other things. It's about the position of the heart.

#blessed is about realising that amongst the 'stressings' there are blessings. It's realising that life is actually synonymous with blessing. There are new opportunities and new great experiences to walk into. 

See the Y

This week, I have an eye test. Not something I'm nervous about, but just a reminder that my eyesight is poor! It reminds me of all the times that I've been rebellious and not worn my glasses or contacts. The amount of times I've greeted friends from afar, only to realise close up that they are strangers! (Should have gone to Specsavers) We underestimate the importance of vision -> not just eyesight but the value of seeing.

Seeing provides us with direction - helps us to see where we are and see where we're going. I don't know about you, but if I can't see, it frustrates me. Seeing provides us with understanding. ("I see," said the blind man.) If I can't see, it means I am in a place of confusion, misunderstanding ... and I just don't like it.

So at this moment in my life, I can't see the Y. I'm in the optician's chair squinting at all the letters, but I can't see the Y. I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do, but I'm stuck in the routines of life. I wake up, go to work, work, go home, work some more, cook, eat, watch TV, think about going to the gym, read a book, then go to bed. And this pattern continues - and I lose sight of the Y.


I've come to realise the importance of Y. There is a reason for everything, even if we don't know it, there's a reason. And some of us can't see the reason for why we do things and so we're stuck - even thinking that we're doing what we're doing in vain. But all we need to do is see the Y. Once we adjust our eyesight and see the Y, it will have an impact on how we do everything. Purpose, direction and understanding will be found. These wise words sum it up nicely - 'Without a vision, the people perish'. Let me say it another way, 'Without a why, the people perish.' So I ask you, can you see the Y?

Stronger than you think?

She was devastated. Not only had she lost her husband, but she had lost her livelihood, her source of income. And now she was going to lose her two sons. Desperate, she emptied the little bag that would have normally held their finances. Dust and sand was all that was left! Dust and sand! Suddenly, she remembered that Elisha, the Prophet was around. When she approached him, she told him all her woes. After hearing her out, he asked her what she had in her house. "Nothing," she whispered, "but a small jar of olive oil". Elisha took a moment to think and then gave her a list of instructions. The widow went home and asked all her neighbours for empty jars. The widow and her sons then poured the oil into these empty jars. As the jars kept coming and coming, the oil kept flowing and flowing. Until there were no more jars left. She could now sell the oil and not only survive, but thrive!

Our message at church has been about 'Miracle Space'. God works in the lack that we give Him like the story outlined above. Having taken up a new position at work, I have felt out of my depth - inadequate - insufficient. The lack in me seems to be a bit more than usual. For a time I was distressed about my lack, repeating to myself that I can't do this, until I realised that this wasn't lack but this was space. The widow took her lack and used it to create Miracle Space. I needed to take my lack and turn it into Miracle Space.

In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 Paul eloquently describes how when he is weak, he is in fact strong for God's grace empowers Him. In fact, Paul says he delights in hard times because when he is weak, he is actually strong! He rejoices in hard times! Why? Because his lack was actually Miracle Space - space for God to move and do something greater than we could even think or imagine! 

That changes everything for us. In the difficult times, rejoice knowing God will step into your lack and make something great!

Check out the Miracle Space sermon by clicking on the link below :)

original Miracle Space sermon

"I'll title this blog some other time" Procrastination Joys

My greatest gadget right now is my phone. Not because it allows me to communicate better or keep up to date with what's happening on social media. But because it has the maps app. What's so special about that? I hear you ask. Well, I can get impatient as a driver and traffic is not my friend! So the moment I see brake lights, I'm looking for the nearest shortcut, the quickest route to get to my destination.

That's what we can be like in life in general. Looking for the nearest shortcut, the quickest way to get things done. But for me, I've found the quickest way to get things done, is to get things done. Sounds obvious, but hear me out.

This week, I had a day at work to finish displays in my classroom - laminating, cutting letters out, sticking up work! LONG! All I could think was that it was going to take ages! So then enters procrastination 😁 As I begin to think about how to complete this job quicker, I get distracted and begin to play on my phone! A job that I wanted to be finished asap, was now going to take me longer to finish.  Eventually I came to my senses and realised that the quickest way to get this job done, is to get the job done.

Sometimes we can befriend procrastination or chase after short cuts, only to find that the journey is going to take longer!

Shortcuts have their place, but the quickest way to get something done, is to get something done.

Float like a butterfly, but don't sting like a bee! (Fighting the Good Fight)

I am a semi hoarder. I like to hold onto objects from different seasons of my life like souvenirs. School work, concert tickets, plane tickets - and as I can't always find an appropriate place to put them I end up creating a tidy mess. After some time I realise that this is too much so I end up throwing everything away without even a second thought.

I sometimes do this with my feelings too. I can hold onto past hurts and offenses and not say a thing, creating a tidy mess in my head... Then it gets too much... Well let's just say theres no longer a tidy mess.

In my marriage I have found that in order to make good

progress, communication is key. Communicating my feelings in the right way instead of hoarding them keep us on the same page and working together as a team. I remember someone referencing 'we are to fight the good fight of faith' in discussing conflicts. It was mentioned that there are good fights and bad fights. Conflict is always going to arise in marriage and it's important how we handle them. So I've written 3 steps that have helped me and I hope they help you:

1. Be quick to listen and slow to speak and don't be offended so easily. At times things can be done or said and we are quick to get upset and frustrated. Then when we look back we see that our partner never had ill intentions and that we perceived things wrong. Or if we don't jump to conclusions and discuss things, we'll reach a better place of understanding. James 1:19 says that we should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. This says to me that I need to think before I speak, don't be easily offended and be understanding.

2. Say what you mean and mean what you say - remember Justin Bieber's song 'What do you mean?' My husband actually said to me that he sympathises with Justin because so many times in conversation my body language contradicts what I'm saying. I have a bad habit of saying I'm fine when I'm not. Like I said earlier, in order to work things through, you have to work things through- which leads us into point 3.

3. Speak the truth in love - when it is time to talk about things, say all you have to say truthfully, but make sure it's done in love. If I maintain the perspective that we're a team regardless of the situation and aim for us to still be a team by the end of the conversation, I need to make sure my words contain love. We can often state facts in a conversation and mix it with emotion saying things we don't mean. Our partner won't always separate the emotion and the fact which will have a detrimental effect on the conflict. 

These are just 3 short points and there are probably many more. These are not perfected points! The marriage journey is one of growth and development, so remember to smile in the sun and dance in the rain of marriage because the journey gets better with every step!

When I grow up...

I'm 28! This time 10 years ago, I was 18 getting ready to move out from my family home to go to university. The world was my oyster! I was part of the 'next generation' - shapeable and ready to learn to have an impact on this world that was promised to me. Ready to pursue 'what I wanted to do when I was older'.

Now I'm defined as being 2 years from 30. The world is no longer my oyster - in fact it is making demands of me! Now you should be married! Now you should have children! Now you should be living in a 4 bedroom house with room for 2 cars on the drive. If I contemplate studying again, the response is I'm too old or I should be thinking about settling down. But when did I become unshapeable (not a word I think) and not ready to learn to have an impact on this world! 

I am now inspired by those who are older than me and decide to go back to studying. Those who decide that they have more to offer this world and decide to learn more to do this! No matter what age we are at, it's never too late to do something different. Life is to be experienced and enjoyed, so don't let age or circumstance hold you back. We can always learn, we can always change the world! 

Eat Sleep Participate Repeat

Watching the Olympics with my sister, I was trying to explain to her how watching the 100m races inspires me to run. When I watch others do something, I want to participate too. I'd rather be involved than spectate. After watching Step Up, I wanted to dance, after watching DreamGirls, I wanted to sing (I think that's normal- I know everyone was trying to reach for those notes with Jennifer Hudson), and after watching the Fast and Furious, I wanted to race. I'd rather participate than spectate.

This thought challenged me after reflecting on that scripture greater things we will do (John 14:12). After reading about the miracles of Christ, am I inspired like I am with the other things I see? Not that I should be going round turning water into wine, but am I inspired to be as compassionate as Christ? Am I inspired to be as loving as Christ? Am I inspired to be as truthful as Christ? 

And it doesn't just stop there. There are many other inspirational people in the Bible. Am I inspired to be as courageous as Esther? Am I inspired to be as trusting as Abraham? Am I inspired to be as hopeful as Joshua? Am I inspired to change my world as these guys did?

It's so easy to read the Bible and see many events as happening thousands of years ago and leaving them there. But the fact is that these should empower and inspire us to know that greater things will we do with Christ. Inspiration must lead to participation.

Three things I wish I knew or did before I got married

Married for 1 year and 1 month and looking forward to the many years ahead!! But to know where you're going, you've got to know where you're coming from, right? Sometimes it's good to look back to see what you've learnt and even what you need to learn! These are three things I wish I knew before I got married...

Pre-warning, this might get deep so this is not for the faint hearted!!

1. I wish I loved myself more (let's start at the deep end shall we?) I wish I knew more about myself and had spent my single life exploring who I am. In marriage, so many flaws in you are exposed and there's no where to hide them 😳. If I knew I was so selfish, I could have dealt with that. If I knew I was so guarded, I could have dealt with that. To be fair these are shoulda, woulda, couldas, however a lot of these I think stem from being insecure. If I loved myself more, that could have been eradicated. One of the wisest quotes I know 'Love your neighbour as you love yourself'. The more (and better) I love myself, the more (and better) I can love my husband. 

2. I wish I knew that men were from mars and women were from venus. Okay I don't believe this to be actually true, you can put down the pitch forks. But we do definitely communicate differently. I don't know why I didn't notice this during the dating stage, but I know now. Misunderstandings have easily happened because we misinterpreted what we've communicated to each other. The earlier I had known, the better we could have communicated in those early stages. 

3. I wish I was a little bit taller🎧 I'm kidding but I love the song! But I do wish that I knew that I would never understand everything. This kind of links with number 2. Because so much can be lost in translation, a lot can be either be misunderstood or not understood at all!! And that's okay! In not understanding things we can often get frustrated, but look how long it took humanity to understand that the world is round. We're so used to getting information so quickly now, that there's an expectation to understand things straight away. But the complexities of people mean that we must be patient when it comes to understanding, but still continue to pursue it.

And a bonus!

4. I wish I knew that expectations aren't always going to be fulfilled and that's okay. Often we go through relationships with several expectations that we expect to be fulfilled. And when they're not... It's like someone has taken our hope and dreams and crushed them in their fist. But what about when I don't fulfill my S.O.'s expectations? It is going to happen! We do need to communicate the expectations we have, but also be understanding when they are not fulfilled. 

Love you lots, catch you later!

Confessions of a sore loser

I am very competitive. Once we were travelling with some friends in separate cars and I encouraged the driver to get back to our destination before the other car because to me it was a race. I am very competitive.

But I am also a sore loser! When I was younger we used to play frustration as a family. I remember not talking to everyone on one occassion because I lost (I was very young). As I've matured this has played itself out differently in my life. At primary school I was a good sprinter and would win at sports day. However when I got to secondary school, the competition increased and so my motivation decreased. I could have been the next Bolt!  

Recently I've been exploring theories on growth mindsets. This is something I have learnt about recently and has really challenged me. Imagine on one side of a scale you have a fixed mindset and on the other side you have a growth mindset. If you have a fixed mindset, you see where you are but don't see potential for growth. On the flip side, if you foster a growth mindset, you see potential for you to well, grow! If you see the potential to grow, you will put in steps to grow. 

Because I've been a sore loser (confession is good for the soul) in certain situations I've had a fixed mindset and given up. But I've been learning that failure provides more opportunities to succeed. Thomas Edison 'failed' thousands of times before he invented the light bulb. There are many steps to success and they may not look how we expect them to, but every step is an opportunity to grow and be better!!

Confessions of a Prisoner

Okay so I have never been to prison, but at times I feel I am a prisoner of a different sort. A prisoner of insecurities. I allow my emotions to trap, guard and lead me.

If you are a prisoner you are concerned about you. Being locked away from the outside world you are concerned about your next meal. Concerned about the next time your eyes will see daylight. Most if not all of your thoughts are on yourself. It's like when you are a prisoner of your insecurities. You are mostly concerned with yourself. Being a prisoner of insecurities means you see your lack bigger than everything else. So where the evryday prisoner may be concerned about their next meal, a prisoner of insecurity will also be anxious about self-preservation. 

But I have found that there is a difference when I live beyond myself. Taking my eyes off myself and looking to meet the needs of others, frees me from prison and from being trapped. 

We are all insecure about something and run the risk of being so consumed with our anxieties so much so that we don't see needs and opportunities in the world around us. I consciously have to choose freedom not to be anxious but identify how I can help meet the needs of others. 

If Monday had a face...

Of all the days of the week, I feel sorry for Monday. Monday gets so much flack, it's actually sad. Monday is a day like every other day, but have you noticed how we let it dictate how we approach our week.

Sunday nights I used to get anxious thinking about the approaching day. No longer able to enjoy the remnants of the weekend, I began to think about having to wake up early and getting everything ready for work. The stress!!

But then I stopped seeing Monday as a threat-"it's trying to bring me down!!" But rather an opportunity. Monday gives me a chance to invest in the world around me. Everyday can't be Friday, but everyday can be great! Dictate your Monday, don't let it dictate you!

Confessions of an Ungrateful Wife

These are my confessions part 2! I've realised I'm an ungrateful wife. Not necessarily in my relationship- I have recently made it an aim to make sure that I am appreciative of everything my husband does(this is where he interjects and says since when? :p) - but in terms of our house.

We got married 11 months ago, moved out of our parents' home 11 months ago and moved into our own house 11 months ago. I feel like I officially became an adult 11 months ago!! Whilst studying at uni, I had moved out and lived on my own, so I already knew the challenges that came with living in your own home, but now I feel I have much more responsibilities. 

So this weekend I found myself dragging my feet in regards to the household chores. The dishes need washing AGAIN. The laundry needs doing AGAIN. We need to cook AGAIN. It had been a long week at work, and we had both been doing a lot of things outside of work too! So when it came to the weekend I didn't want to do ANYTHING! Not even rest for a bit and then go back into things, I mean I didn't want to do ANYTHING! Now I'm not saying that we should not rest (and this is something I need to learn) but I could recognise that my attitude towards these things was very negative, hence the AGAIN opposed to I'll just do it later.

Then I began to reflect on how I felt about things. I can either be miserable about all the things that I have to do or joyful (content if it makes you feel better). I began to think that 12 months ago we had been praying for a place to live and couldn't even think about where furniture and everything else was going to come from. Now we have a bed to sleep in and a roof over our head.

So instead of complaining about all the things I have to do and moaning about it, I am grateful to have a home to keep clean. :) What are you grateful for?